


Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill (discontinued)

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Tree Bros, au where connor doesnt die, boyf riends — Freeform, its gay, post squip, real gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:15:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan Hansen lives a pretty decent life ever since the You Will Be Found incident at school, but these new kids might make his life a bit more interesting.





	1. Dear Evan Hansen, refill your meds

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first story I've written that isn't based around ocs.  
> Enjoyyyy.

Evan Hansen liked school. It was an escape from his home life almost, an escape from the countless hours of loneliness he endured until his mother came home from work. He liked school even more since becoming friends with three new people, one of which being Conner Murphy (a surprising pair, but still great friends). Connor had always been in one or two of Evan’s classes, but they hadn’t talked up until the whole ‘You Will Be Found’ incident early in the year. Surprisingly, Evan and Connor got along pretty well. 

Today though, Evan wished he stayed home. 

It was AP Physics, third class of the day, and the teacher was droning on and on. Evan couldn’t focus. Too many things were floating in his mind. 

**‘They’re looking at you’**

They weren’t.

**‘Connor isn’t here. He’s probably dead because of me.’**

Yet another lie because Connor just so happened to walk in late to class. He gave a note to the teacher and went to sit next to Evan. 

“Hey.”

“Where were you?”

Connor gave a slight smile.

“Car broke down, had to get a carpool from Alana.”

Evan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“O-ok. That’s good b-because I just assumed you were- a-actually nevermind i-it doesn’t m-matter! So yo-you missed first and se-second?”

Connor simply nodded. 

Evan also nodded and looked down at his hands, feeling suddenly flustered. He tapped his fingers in a quick rhythm on the desk. Connor noticed something was off about Evan, he waited until after class to question. 

The bell ranged and then it was lunch. Connor and Evan walked out together. 

“Hansen, are you ok? You were acting weird that entire period.”  Connor asked, looking down at the shorter boy. Evan looked up at him and shied away from the sudden eye contact.

“Y-yeah I’m f-fine. It’s just that um- I finished my m-meds yesterday a-and I forgot to tell my mom s-so uh- I’m uh- I’m off my m-meds right now.”

Connor stopped walking and frowned, still looking at Evan who was now stopped ahead of him. 

“Evan,”

“Connor.”

“There is absolutely no way in hell you are going to survive today.”

Evan winced at how blunt Connor was. 

“W-well.. Yeah, but y-y’know.. I’ve uh- I’ve accepted my death-”

“Evan!”

“I-I’m so-sorry!”

Evan was both picking at his fingers and fiddling with the ends of his shirt, it was amazing how easily he could do both at the same time. Connor sighed and walked over to the smaller boy, grabbing the hand he was picking at. Evan shut up but was blushing heavier than usual.

“Don’t pick at your fingers.” 

That’s all Connor said before dragging Evan to the lunch table where they ate with their friends.

Jared was the only one there and he was casually eating a sandwich. He saw the pair walking towards the table and waved at them, then he saw their still linked hands. He swallowed the rest of his food before saying anything.

“So.. Did you two finally confess your undying gay love for eachother?” 

Evan started stammering out protests, blushing madly.

“Jared,” Connor started, “I will give you two seconds to run.” He started counting.

Jared didn’t move when he got to two so Connor moved towards him, then Jared started running. Connor chased him around the table, leaving the sputtering mess that was Evan standing alone.. At least until Zoe and Alana came over. 

“Evan, are you ok?” Alana asked.

“What the hell is going on here?” Zoe commented, watching her brother still chase Jared. Evan tried explaining but he wasn’t able to finish his sentences, being off his medication didn’t help. 

The two girls decided to find out later and sat Evan down, making sure he ate. Connor eventually got bored of chasing Jared and sat next to the anxious boy.

“Did you guys hear about the new kids?” Alana asked.

“New kids?” Jared raised an eyebrow.

“Mhm. Two new students, I heard they got expelled from their old school for selling drugs.” Alana explained.

“Maybe you’ll get along with them, Connor.” Zoe said, looking at her brother. Connor shot her a sly smile. 

“Have you- have you met them y-yet?” Evan asked Alana. She shook her head. 

Evan wondered about these new kids. Maybe he would meet them in his other classes. Evan was right about that. It was in English, a class he had with both of the Murphy siblings. The teacher started class and stood in front of the board.

“Students, I would like to introduce two new kids to this class. Please greet them kindly!” The teacher gestured to the two kids outside the door to walk in and boy.. Were they a sight. 


	2. Can You Guys Be More Chill? Geez..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Jeremy are the new kids at school, and they couldn't get more gayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i laughed while writing the summary sorry  
> anyways short chapter sorrrrry again

Jeremy had absolutely no idea how this happened. He also had no idea why he got busted for ‘drugs. Yet here he was, waiting outside a classroom with his boyfriend, Michael (they started dating shortly after the S.Q.U.I.P.), at his side. He heard the muffled, “Students, I would like to introduce two new kids to this class. Please greet them kindly!” and then heard Michael stifle a laugh next to him. It was already sixth period and the whole ‘let’s show these students how nice our school is’ act was getting old. They got the signal to come inside and they went in. 

“Welcome! Would you two like to introduce yourself to the class?”

Michael went first.

“I’m Michael.”

“And I’m Jeremy.”

“What you get expelled for?”

A boy in the back called out. His hair was long and he sat between a boy who looked like he was about to explode and a girl who was giving him a dirty look, she looked like him. 

“Connor,” the  teacher scolded, “that isn’t an appropriate question!” 

“No, no. It’s fine we don’t mind.” Jeremy protested, smiling.

“We got expelled for drugs.” Michael looked at this Connor boy.

“What kind?” He asked.

“Pills, weed.”

“You got some weed on you still?” Connor smiled.

The girl next to Connor punched his arm while to boy next to him rolled his eyes.

Michael looked at Jeremy and mouthed, ‘I like him.’ Jeremy rolled his eyes but laughed quietly.

The teacher told them they could sit wherever they’d like and Michael immediately dragged Jeremy to the closest spot near this Connor kid. Class was pretty boring from then on. Jeremy actually paid attention while Michael played with his boyfriend’s hands. 


	3. Evan, Be More Chill.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan has a panic attack and nothing is ok (for him).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; panic attacks  
> it ends up ok? tho  
> also i feel like im writing connor a bit ooc so i apologize in advance for that   
> ALSO when i said i was gonna update weekly thats a lie im gonna try to update as much as possible so dont yell at me if i post multipl chapters in a day (such as today)((im on a roll kids))

After sixth period school was over. Connor grabbed Evan and quickly dragged him to catch up with the new kids. They interested Connor, especially that Michael kid. Evan felt indifferent about them, he never liked new people. 

Michael and Jeremy were in the library, arguing quietly with each other. 

“Kirby is the best in Super Bros.” 

“Bullshit! Everyone knows Captain Falcon is the best!”

What caused this argument to happen is unknown but they seemed.. Dedicated.

“I can’t believe my own boyfriend thinks Kirby is better than Captain Falcon.” Jeremy said with a mock offense tone. 

“I can’t believe we’re still arguing about this!” Michael exclaimed, yet he smiled. He liked seeing Jeremy get defensive like this. It was cute.

The boys were so caught up in their argument they didn’t hear a few more people enter the library.

 

* * *

Evan walked into the library. He dragged Jared, Zoe, and Connor along since he was feeling like he would explode any second now. 

“Dude, you seriously need to get your prescription refilled.” Jared was saying to him while Evan looked for a book he needed.

“I-I know! It’s just that- m-my mom came home a-and she was r-really tired and st-stressed and I didn’t want to bother h-her about my pills. B-but she even asked me- if I had me-meds still.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“That I did..”

Jared started laughing. “Evan Hansen. You sure are something.”

 

* * *

Michael and Jeremy were still arguing when they heard some talking.

“Right, we’re in a library. We should probably quiet down.” Jeremy scratched his neck.

“If we were being loud we would have been told to shut up.” Michael said, leaning on his boyfriend.

Jeremy laughed and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” He ran his fingers through Michael’s hair. They sat in a comfortable silence.. At least until they heard multiple books falling over and some hushed yelling. 

“What the hell was that?” Jeremy asked as he and Michael looked to where the crash came from. “Should we check it out?” He added, looking at Michael. Michael nodded and they stood up, walking over to the pile books.

 

* * *

Evan had not meant to knock over all those books. Seriously he didn’t. It was just that one minute he was looking at Jared while they talked to each other and the next minute he bumped forcefully into a bookshelf, causing a majority of books to fall over. 

“Evan oh my god!” Jared exclaimed, looking at the mess Evan had created.

“I-I’m sorry I-I was just w-walking and then I b-bumped into it and- and-”

Evan was freaking out. Then he saw those two new kids walking to them.That made him freak out more.

**‘Oh god they saw me do that. They’re gonna tell and I’m gonna get expelled and I’ll be kicked out and living on the streets-’**

“You ok dude?” Evan’s anxious thoughts were interrupted by Jeremy, who was frowning with concern. Evan didn’t know why he was asking that. Why would you ask questions when you could laugh at how embarrassing Evan was?

“I-I. Uh. I-I didn’t- I didn’t mean t-to- I didn’t mean to knock it down.” Evan said, panicking more and more. 

“It’s ok dude, we know that.” Jeremy smiled kindly at him.  Evan looked at him then at Michael and Jared, who were cleaning up the mess  _ he _ had made. 

**‘They working more because of** **_you_ ** **.** **_You_ ** **are making them do this. How selfish.’**

He was being selfish. Selfish, selfish, selfish- 

That’s when the panic attack happened.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan didn’t remember what happened after he knocked down those books. He just suddenly came back with Connor in front of him, talking softly. Jared sat next to Connor, watching with a sad look. Zoe was with those Jeremy and Michael kids, talking quietly with them. Michael was playing with Jeremy’s hands again. 

“Evan?” 

Evan looked up at Connor. His cheeks were wet with tears and he was shaking.

“Evan, are you back?” He asked.

Evan nodded slowly, wiping the tears from his cheeks. 

“I.. had panic attack.. Di-didn’t I?” He asked, embarrassed.

Connor nodded.

“You’re ok though, right?” Jared spoke up, looking at his friend. 

The thing was Evan wasn’t ok. He had gone so long keeping this streak of not panicking and  now all that hard work had gone to waste. How could he be ok?

Still, Evan confirmed that he was ‘ok’. 

“Good..” Jared sighed with relief and stood up. Connor helped Evan up and the three went back to Zoe and the new kids. Zoe asked Evan if he was ok to which Evan answered he was again. 

“Well, quite the first impression.” Michael said to which Jeremy pinched his hand, emitting an ‘ow’ from Michael.

Evan blushed with embarrassment. He wanted to just go home and disappear in his bed forever. 

“Sorry about him.. Wanna redo the whole first impressions thing?” Jeremy asked.

Evan nodded quickly and a smile appeared on Jeremy’s face. The small group began to introduce themselves to each other.

“Ok then! I’m Jeremy and this is my boyfriend Michael.”

“I-I’m Evan..”

“Connor.”

“The name’s Jared Kleiman!”

“I’m Zoe. I’m, unfortunately, this one’s sister.”

Connor elbowed her in the arm. Both Jeremy and Evan snickered softly.

This might work out ok after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longish chapter to make up for the last short one
> 
> here are my tumblrs btw  
> main blog- @acidheavens  
> theatre blog- @astrovivir


	4. What The Hell is a Squip?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boyf riends tell the gang how they got here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short. I haven't been feeling the best mentally and it's hard to get motivated. Thank you all for the kudos and comments xo

“So what’s the real story behind your guy’s expulsion?” Connor asked, looking straight at Jeremy and Michael.  
Jeremy shifted uneasily.   
“Like we said, drugs.” Michael said.   
Connor shook his head. “No, no. You can’t be that stupid to do drugs on campus.”   
“You do drugs on campus all the time.” Zoe intervened. Connor looked at her, scowling.   
“That is not true! I do drugs at home and then come to school under the influence. God, get it right Zoe.” He rolled his eyes and looked back at the new kids.  
“Seriously, what’s the story?”  
Michael went to say something but Jeremy let out a heavy sigh. “Just let them hear it.” He said, looking at his boyfriend with tired eyes. Jeremy was the victim of this story, of course he was gonna be unenthusiastic about retelling it. Michael looked at him with wary eyes before turning back around to the waiting group.   
“Ok, fine. We’ll tell you the story. The story about the S.Q.U.I.P..” 

 

* * *

 

  
Michael explained the story pretty quickly with Jeremy adding in any information he missed.   
“Ok ok ok, wait,” Jared interrupted, “let me get this straight. You bought a pill that had a computer in it to be cooler and it actually worked but it turned out the computer was like evil or something so you drank red Mountain Dew to get rid of it?”  
Michael and Jeremy nodded in unison. “Pretty much.”  
Jared fell backwards to lie on his back. “Wow, that makes so much sense.” He said sarcastically.  
“B-but why did you guys get expelled?” Connor asked hesitantly.  
“Well, I got expelled because they thought the S.Q.U.I.P. was a drug, which is basically was? And Michael got expelled because he's a pothead.” Michael smiled smugly. Connor fistbumped him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment suggestions for future chapters!!


	5. God They're Gay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is gay and afraid. Michael helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever written fluff before. A gift for you my children.

They parted ways after that. Connor carpooled with Zoe. Jared and Evan walked home together. Michael and Jeremy walked back home together as well. 

“Wanna come over?” Michael asked Jeremy.

“Sure.” Jeremy replied.

* * *

 

They made it to Michael’s house shortly and went down to his basement. Michael rolled a joint and lit it. ‘Post-school stress relief’ as he called it. Jeremy didn’t mind. He sat on the floor between Michael’s legs while the latter sat on the sofa. They played video games for about an hour. 

“Zombies!”

“Jeremy watch out!”

“Shit! Shit!”

“Damn it..”

They quit playing after that round. Jeremy hopped onto the sofa next to Michael. After a few minutes, Michael was laying on top of Jeremy as his boyfriend clicked through tv channels. Jeremy ran his fingers through Michael’s hair.

Jeremy finally stopped on a channel that was showing the movie  _ ‘I Robot.’  _ They watched it. 

“Why would they create robots if they knew they would rebel against humanity?” Michael asked. Jeremy didn’t reply, but Michael felt his heartbeat quicken. He lifted his head to look at Jeremy. 

“You ok dude?” He asked, worried.

“Do you.. Do you think the S.Q.U.I.P. will come back?” Jeremy asked, his voice was small but it was full of fear.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” Michael sat and cupped Jeremy’s face with his hands. “We got rid of him right? If he does come back, which he won’t, we can just get rid of him again.”

Jeremy nodded, still feeling unsure. Michael pressed a quick peck to his lips. He didn’t want Jeremy to feel scared, he wanted him to feel safe and be happy with life. They hugged. Michael rubbed on his boyfriend’s back, trying to comfort him. 

Jeremy broke the hug and looked at Michael, cupping his face. Michael leaned forward and kissed him. Their lips moved in sync, just like always. 

‘He tastes like weed…’ Jeremy thought to himself, pulling Michael closer to him. Michael’s hands went up into Jeremy’s hair, one hand cradled his head while the other lightly tugged on the other boy’s curls. This was one of Jeremy's favorite part of hanging out with Michael, just enjoying him and nearly being one with him. He was grateful to know that Michael was his and would always be his.

They pulled away for a breath but stayed close, looking at each other. Michael noticed the pink tint that dusted over Jeremy’s cheeks. Jeremy noticed just how many freckles Michael had, he wanted to kiss each one of them. 

“Feeling better?” Michael asked. Jeremy nodded.

“.. Wanna kiss again?” Michael asked once more, flashing a crooked smile. Jeremy didn’t nod, he pulled Michael right into another kiss.  


	6. Dear Evan Hansen, Why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan bonds with Michael over his boy problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longish chapter for you kids.  
> Comment suggestions for later chapters!!

Evan was somewhat happy to be on his meds again. He could go to school and function somewhat normally now. Hey! Maybe he would stop feeling all flustered and stuff around a certain Murphy boy. Boy, was he really hoping that was just a consequence of being off his meds. 

What he wasn’t hoping was locking himself in the school bathroom during fourth period and having a mini panic attack. How had he gotten here?

 

* * *

Beginning of fourth period, History, he had this class with Michael. He sat next to him, still confused about why he felt flustered around Connor. Why was Connor the one who made his heart beat faster than usual and make his face feel hot. Sure, Connor was cute but Evan wasn’t gay- right? No he couldn’t be gay! Why would-

“You alright, dude?” Michael interrupted his thoughts. Evan looked at the other boy and nodded quickly. “You sure, you’re tapping on the desk pretty fast and you look like you’re about to explode.” Michael added casually. Evan hadn’t notice his tapping. He quickly shoved his hands into his lap, mumbling a ‘sorry’ and staring at the ground. 

**‘God, people are probably staring at me. How long was I tapping for? How loud was it? They must think I’m a freak.’**

He tried not to think too much. Class ended up being a free period which left Evan with nothing to do. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that he might possibly be really homosexual for Connor so, why not ask the homosexual right next to him. Perfect plan!

“S-So.. how.. How did you know you liked Jeremy.”  **Smooth Hansen.**

Michael looked at him, a bit surprised at the sudden question. He smiled nonetheless. “Well. I’ve always liked him, since freshman year I think. After the S.Q.U.I.P. incident I decided to man up and ask him out, before I could.. Lose him again.” Michael’s smile faltered a bit and Evan regretted asking. “Do you like someone, Evan?” 

**No.** “Yeah.. maybe?” Evan paused. “How do you know if you like someone?” Michael’s smile lit up again. Why did this excite him so much? He started explaining to Evan what it was like to be in love with someone. 

How your heart seem to speed up whenever you’re around them. The butterflies you get when they laugh or smile. Just wanting to be around them for as long as possible. 

**‘Oh no.. you’re in love with Connor.’**

When Michael finished, Evan thanked him. He started thinking, which was never good. Sooner or later Evan had to excuse himself to the nurse’s office, but he didn’t go there. He went into the men’s restroom and locked the door, sitting in front of it. He was breathing heavily and he wrapped his arms around himself, digging his nails into his arms. Too many negative thoughts raced through his head.

**‘He’ll hate you.’**

**‘There goes your friendship.’**

**‘Why would he like someone like you?’**

Too many thoughts that Evan did not want. The thing that broke his thoughts was the sudden feeling of warm liquid on his fingers. He looked at his arms. He had broken the surface of his skin and was bleeding. 

**‘Now you’ve done it.’**

He stood up and slowly went to the bathroom sinks, washing off the blood from his arms. He heard a knock at the door.

“Evan?”

It was Michael. 

“Evan, are you in there?” 

He kept knocking. Evan walked back to the door and sat in front of it again. 

“How did you know I was here?” Evan asked, not moving.

Michael tried the doorknob before answering, it was still locked, “I went to the nurse’s to check on you. She said you weren’t there so I checked here next-”

“Why?” Evan interrupted. Michael was silent for a moment, he sighed before answering. 

“Bathrooms are always a safe place for me.. I was thinking maybe they would be a safe place for you too.”  

There was silence, then the door lock clicked. Michael looked up in surprise. He turned it and opened the door, looking inside the bathroom. He saw Evan huddled in the far corner. Michael closed the door and locked it again, he made his way to Evan. Evan didn’t look at him, he just stared at the dirty floors of the bathroom. 

“Are you ok? Michael asked. Evan shrugged.

“I guess I’m just scared..” He replied.

“Of what?”

“Of liking Connor-” Evan slapped his hands over his mouth, not meaning to let that those words slip through his lips. Michael eyes widened in surprise. 

“I-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to say that.” Evan’s words faltered and turned into quiet whispers. He was shaking. 

“I’m sure he’ll like you back, Evan, you two seem pretty close.” Michael reassured him, giving a smile. Evan looked up at Michael, trying to give back a smile just a genuine. 

“Th-thank you, Michael..” 

“No problem.. We should probably get to class soon.”

Evan nodded.

How long had they been in here? No idea, but the teacher gave them suspicious looks when they got back. 


	7. What's The Hell Is A Squip?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squip. That's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I won't be posting as often for a few months, phone and computer got taken away so updates will come through more slowly. Thank you all for being so patient, ily guys <3

“Where do you get a squip?” 

Evan hadn’t meant to ask that question. He didn’t even know he asked it until Jeremy stopped what he was doing to look at him. It’s not like Evan wanted a S.Q.U.I.P. or anything. He was fine with being himself, he didn’t need to be cool to survive.

“Evan-”

“S-Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked!”

Jeremy was looking at him, his voice was scared yet stern. Evan knew he made a mistake in asking that question. 

“Evan, you really don’t want a squip ok? It’s not- it’s not worth it. It won’t help anything.”

“I-I know, I’m sorry I really should’ve just kept my mouth sh-shut.” 

“Do you actually want a squip?” 

Jeremy’s voice sounded almost monotone now. Evan stayed quiet. What was the right answer? There had to be a right one. He shrugged, fidgeting his hands in his lap. He decided on a vague answer,

“I’d like to know what it’s like..” 

Jeremy sat back in his seat.

“Once you have it, you can’t get rid of it. It’ll stay in your brain forever.. You also can’t drink Mountain Dew.”

“I never liked Mountain Dew anyways.”

Evan tried to make light of the subject, chuckling at his own comment. Jeremy didn’t react so Evan shut up. He noticed Jeremy jolt up, sitting with nearly perfect posture now. 

“There’s a guy at the Payless in the mall. He’ll hook you up.”

Evan frowned in confusion. Just a minute ago Jeremy was warning him not to get one and now he was telling him exactly where he could get this weird computer pill. 

“Uh.. thanks. I-I guess I’ll be going now.”

He stood up and began walking.

“E-Evan wait-”

**Shock.** Evan looked back at Jeremy.  **Another shock.**

“Just uh.. You’re gonna need 400 dollars.. That’s all.”

Evan nodded and continued on his journey, leaving Jeremy alone… almost.

**‘That was a close call, Jeremy.. Sit straight.’**

Another shock hit Jeremy. He recognized that voice. That voice that tormented him for weeks. That voice that blocked out his best friend. 

**‘You can’t get rid of me, Jeremy. I’ll always be here.’**

Jeremy let out a groan of annoyment. He stood and started walking, looking for Michael. He watched the static-y image of Keanu Reeves appear next to him. 

**‘Jeremy. Jereeeemy. Are you ignoring me?’**

He didn’t remember the Squip being  _ this  _ annoying.. And needy.

**‘Jeremy! Don’t ignore me. Who are you texting?’**

Jeremy was texting Michael.

 

* * *

12:50 PM/ twunk: mountain dew red

12:55 PM/ mike l: did it come back

12:56 PM/ twunk: yup

12:56 PM/ twunk: it’s a lot needier than usual it wants me to pay attention to it

12:58 PM/ mike l: why dont u do that while i try to get more red

12:59 PM/ twunk: YOU DONT HAVE ANY MORE??????

1:03 PM/ mike l: unfortunately i do not

1:04 PM/ twunk: so i have to deal with this floppy disk for longer than i want to

1:05 PM/ mike l: sorry babe

 

Jeremy let out a frustrated noise. 

 

1:07 PM/ twunk: im coming over

 

Michael sent a thumbs up emoji.

 

* * *

 

 

“Guess I have to pay attention to you.”

Jeremy turned to his Squip, who was reading his messages. 

 

**‘Michael Mell.. is your significant other.’**

“Yeah.”

**‘Since when?’**

“Well after we got rid of you I dated Christine for about a month but we broke up and then a few months later I started dating Michael.” 

**‘I.. didn’t predict that happening.’**

“You would be the first.” 

The Squip was quiet after that surprisingly. Jeremy checked back on it every so often to see if it was still there. It looked weaker and lost, scared almost and not as confident as before. It almost made Jeremy pity it. 

They made it to Michael’s house shortly and Jeremy made his way to the basement. He walked inside using the key Michael had given him for his birthday so many years back. He saw Michael sitting on one of the beanbags with his computer on his lap, he was deep in concentration and even deeper on the web. He didn’t look up until Jeremy said his name.

“Yo. Didn’t see you there.” Michael greeted.

Jeremy shrugged and sat next to his boyfriend. The Squip followed and stood behind them. 

“So.. is it here right now?”

“Behind us.” 

Michael turned and made eye contact with the Squip. It stared back intensely. 

“Does it still look Keanu Reeves?”

“Yup, only more of a lost and scared Keanu Reeves.” 

“Weird..”

There was a silence.

“Found any red yet?” Jeremy asked, watching the Squip walk around the basement. 

“Nope, this might take a while.. Sorry.”

Jeremy sighed and rested his head on Michael’s shoulder. The Squip looked at the pair and frowned, almost like he was trying to figure out how exactly those two got together in the first place. The rest of the night went on with Jeremy and Michael looking for more Mountain Dew Red and Squip occasionally knocking things over like an annoying cat. 


	8. Seriously What's A Squip?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The horrible floppy disk makes a comeback and follows the gays to an anxious gay's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt compelled to write the squip into this to make it more,, interesting??  
> thank you guys for your patience with the slow uploads and such ly guys <3

Jeremy and Michael didn’t find any Mountain Dew Red to the Squip’s delight. They settled to just watching tv while they came up with other options. 

“If we take regular Mountain Dew and dye it red does that count?”

“Michael, what are you even saying?”

“Honestly I have no idea.”

There was a silence and then the vibrate of a phone. Michael’s phone.

 

3:04/ connor murphweed: evan wanted me to invite u over

3:04/ connor murphweed: his mom’s having a bbq

3:05/ mike l: oh sweet

3:05/ mike l: hell yeah we’re going

3:07/ connor murphweed: cool 

 

That was it. Michael put his phone away and turned to Jeremy. 

“Yo so Evan, technically Connor, invited us over to his house. Sound cool?”

“Mhm..”

“Who you texting?”

“Rich. Asking if he has any red- damn it.”

“He doesn't?” 

Jeremy shook his head then looked up from his phone, making eye contact with the Squip who was in the process of knocking down Michael’s Xbox, it stopped when Jeremy looked at it. 

“Put it back.” Jeremy said firmly.

Squip put the Xbox back, frowning.

“This isn’t fair, I’m the one who’s supposed to be telling you what to do.” The Squip muttered.

“Whatever,” Jeremy turned to Michael who was running his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, “so, Evan’s house?”

Michael nodded and they went. Squip followed behind them.

 

* * *

Evan was rather shocked when he walked into his house and saw his mom waiting. 

“M-Mom? Y-you’re home early.” 

Ms. Hansen turned to her son, beaming with joy.

“Hi honey! I got the day off and I wanted to spend it with you!” She hugged Evan quickly. “You know, I’ve never really properly met these new friends of yours, why don’t you invite them over? I’ll throw something on the grill!” And with that, she left to go outdoors and prepare for this sudden hangout.

After Evan was able to process what just happened he texted Jared, Alana, then the Murphy siblings. He asked Connor to invite Michael and Jeremy, not feeling comfortable enough to do it himself. Connor obliged with no complaints. 

Connor was the first to arrive. 

“Where’s Zoe?”

“She’s coming later with Alana.”

Then it was Jared, who greeted Evan’s mom joyfully.

“It feels like ages since I last saw your mom.” Jared said to Evan.

“Yeah.. me too.” Evan replied.

The three decided to watch a movie while they waited for the others to show up. This just ended up with Connor and Jared arguing over which movie was better while Evan helped his mom with the food.

“How can you hate a movie you haven’t even seen?!”

“Look at the title,  _ The Fundamentals of Caring _ ? Sounds like a chick-flick.”

“It’s better than yours!”

“Hey  _ Pulp Fiction _ is a wonderful film, for your information.”

They continued to bicker until someone interrupted.

“Actually, Jared’s choice is way better. Sorry Con.”

The two boys looked up at Zoe, who had intervened, and Alana, who was next to her and giggling. 

“Fuck off Zo.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

The siblings scowled at each other and turned away. Evan quickly came back inside and greeted the girls.

“Evan, you’ve got some schmutz on your face.” Alana pointed out, trying to wipe off the grill grease that had somehow gotten to Evan’s cheek. Evan tried wiping it off himself but only made the stain larger.

The five agreed on watching Jared’s movie, much to Conner’s disappointment. About half an hour into the movie Jeremy and Michael showed up. Jeremy looked pretty annoyed which made Evan uneasy for some reason. Michael approached Evan, leaving his boyfriend to socialize. “Hey, quick question. Do you, by any chance, have Mountain Dew Red in this house?” He asked.

“Uh.. no?” Evan gave a confused expression, “why? I-If you don’t mind me asking.”

Michael sighed slightly. “You remember how we told you about the Squip?” Evan nodded. “Yeah well.. It sorta came back.” 

Evan let out a soft ‘oh’ to which Michael nodded. “It’s not really strong, hopefully it stays that way.” Evan simply nodded. 

The group watched the movie in silence. Evan’s mom called them out when the food was ready. It was nice. 


	9. The Pitiful Floppy Disk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids play a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why i did this sorry not really (also @ the people who made the comments about The Squip acting like a cat + an annoying toddler,, hope you enjoy that for however long this goes on for ;) )

It had gotten late. Evan’s mom decided to go to bed, she had work early in the morning. She trusted Evan enough to keep things under control. Jared had the horrible idea to play Never Have I Ever.. but with a twist.

“Zo with Alana. Evan with Connor. And Michael with Jeremy.” Jared said, setting up his friends to sit in front of each other in pairs. 

“So how does this work?” Zoe asked.

“I’m glad you asked! So I’ll say never have I ever’s and if you’ve done it you scoot closer to your partner!” Jared grinned evilly. 

“How close?” Michael then asked. 

“Just scoot a bit each turn- oh and try to get as close as possible! Last pair to chicken out wins!” Jared finished. 

Michael and Jeremy shrugged. Zoe was trying to hide her reaction. She was way too bi for this. Alana didn’t seem to understand the situation, what a good pure soul she is. Although Connor’s face remained unreadable, his eyes showed longing for the murder of Jared Kleiman. Evan was a blushing mess. He fidgeted his hands around and tried his best not to make eye contact with Connor, who was thankfully still staring at Jared and plotting murder. 

“Let the game begin!” Jared exclaimed. And with that- they started.

 

* * *

“Never have I ever watched porn.”

**“Oh you’ve done that. Multiple times.”**

The Squip wasn’t wrong at all. Jeremy scooted forward to Michael, gaining a stifled laugh from his boyfriend who also scooted forward. Connor scooted towards Evan as well.

“Ooo, I’m telling mom.” Zoe teased.

“I’ll fucking kill you.” Connor glared at her.

“Quit with the sibling hate you two. Next one! Never have I ever pictured my friend naked.” 

Evan mumbled an ‘oh my god.’ 

**“You’ve done that as well, Jeremy. With multiple people. Mainly Michael.. And Rich at one point.”**

‘Shut up!’ Jeremy thought to the Squip. Nonetheless he scooted forwards. So did Michael. They were touching foreheads now. 

“Connor. Scoot up.” Zoe said, looking at her brother.

“I will when you do.” He replied.

Zoe scooted forwards to Alana, they weren’t too close to each other. Who would’ve thought Alana had such a boring life. 

With that, Connor scooted towards a nervous Evan. They were touching noses now much to Evan’s dismay. His little anxiety-filled heart couldn’t take being this close to Connor. Has he always been this cute? Since when has he had those small freckles on his nose? Wow his eyes were a really pretty shade of brown-

“Never have I ever gotten a tattoo!” Jared’s next question interrupted Evan’s thoughts. Michael and Jeremy let out a ‘aaaaay’ and scooted even closer to each other. Both the Murphy’s scooted closer to their partners.

“Wait.. you have a tattoo?” Alana asked Zoe. Zoe nodded and rolled up her jacket sleeve, showing off a small tattoo of multiple stars on her arm. 

“Connor’s is way better though.” Zoe grinned and looked at her brother. Connor rolled up his pant leg and showed off the words ‘ **WEED BONG** ’ tattooed on his ankle in nice, cursive letters.

“It was a bet.” Yet, Connor smiled proudly. 

The game went on. Alana scooted forwards once. Zoe twice. Evan and Jeremy three times. Connor and Michael four. Evan ended up chickening out when he and Connor were far too close for his comfort. Jeremy and Michael were practically on top of each other by the time Alana and Zoe chickened out. 

Evan went to the kitchen to grab a drink while his friends did a ‘fight night’ in the living room. 

Jeremy noticed that his Squip wasn’t with him and went looking for it. He heard something being dropped and a yelp from the kitchen. He decided to follow it. 

When he got there he saw Evan with an expression or confusion and anxiety. Someone stood in front of him. 

“Evan?” Jeremy asked.

The person in front of him turned around. Jeremy froze. He recognized those blue eyes, that look of disapproval, that eery vibe this person gave off.

“Squip..” Jeremy mumbled, frowning.

“Jeremy.. Heere..” It’s voice sounded raspy and dry, like it hadn’t spoken for such a long time. 

For Evan to say he was confused would be an understatement. No words could properly describe how he felt in that moment. 


	10. Squip Likes Goldfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squip is hungry we gotta feed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> evan's gonna be like a mom to squip sorry i dont make the rules  
> also sorry this is so short i had 0 ideas  
> you guys should like,, comment ideas thx

Evan was beyond confused. Jeremy had chased the Keanu Reeves looking guy into the corner with a broom, which was followed by a lot of hissing from Keanu Reeves imposter. Now everyone was sitting in silence. Zoe broke it.

“Ok. What the FUCK is going on? Why the hell is this random guy just huddled up in Evan’s living room?” She placed her hands on her hip like a disappointed mother. She seemed pissed. Zoe’s scary when she’s pissed. No one answered.

“Seriously? No one has an explanation? Not even you two?” Zoe looked at Michael and Jeremy. Michael was looking at the floor. Jeremy was staring down the Squip. They both shook their head, Jeremy sighed.

“Zo, calm the fuck down.” Connor muttered. His arm was in Evan’s lap, who was doodling on it with a marker.

“Con, shut the fuck up.” Zoe retaliated, looking at her brother scornfully. Connor rolled his eye and went back to watching Evan doodle on his arm.

“Is that the Squip thing you guys told us about?” Jared finally asked. The Squip looked up at Jared. Jeremy sighed. So, he actually had to confront this dumb problem of his.

“Yeah, it is.” 

“I thought it was supposed to be in your head. Not here, in real life, and in Evan’s living room.” Jared continued. Jeremy shifted around uncomfortably.

“L-look, I honestly don’t know why it’s here ok?” He said, looking at the floor. There was another wave of silence that crashed on the group. Everyone was just confused now.

“Fo.. Food..” 

Everyone looked at the Squip, who had said that, it was trying to get up.

“P-Pardon?” Evan asked. 

“Food.. hungry..” The Squip repeated. Everyone shared confused looks.

“It’s hungry? How is that even possible?” Michael whispered to Jeremy. Jeremy shrugged.

“I-I’ll get you some food!” Evan scrambled to get up and went into the kitchen. The Squip ended up sitting down again, it was too weak to stand up or really doing anything.

 

* * *

Evan came back with some snacks in his hands. He went over to the Squip despite Jeremy’s protest and sat in front of it. 

“Ok, we’ve got uh, graham crackers, goldfish, uh, cookies.. These brownies Connor left here.. A-Actually you probably shouldn’t eat these.” 

“Yeah don’t.” Connor said.

The Squip looked at the food Evan had placed in front of it. It ended up grabbing the goldfish and started to eat them slowly, one by one. Evan smiled with satisfaction.

“I never thought I’d see the day where my friend would be feeding a supercomputer that got out of my head.” Jeremy said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment ideas it helps feed my family


	11. Finally An Explanation!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get an explanation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is super late,, things haven't been the best lately and I'm very unmotivated. I'll try to write more. For now have this short chapter.

“SO how the hell did you get out of my head?” Jeremy had asked the Squip once it finished eating the goldfish Evan had given it. The Squip looked up at him.. Jeremy wasn’t always this tall, right?

  
“I was getting weaker and weaker the more you refused to drink Mountain Dew. I was dying. So I did the only reasonable thing and became human. Which was a horrible mistake, you humans are so.. Flimsy.” The Squip finished it’s quick explanation, leaving Jeremy more confused than before.

  
“Wait, wait, wait. Squips can turn human?” He asked.

  
“Only in emergencies.”

  
“That makes… no sense.”

  
“Well, you humans aren’t the best at understanding most things.”

  
“Rude.” Jeremy frowned.

  
The Squip didn’t respond. Michael piped up. “So- do you we still call you it or?” He had asked. The Squip didn’t really understand why that was important.

  
“Well.. as far as I’m concerned- I’m in a human male body. So the only reasonable decision would be to refer to me as a male.” The Squip explained, looking at Michael. Michael nodded, quickly breaking the eye contact he had made with Squip.

More silence. Geez this was one quiet group of friends. Evan yawned which caught everyone’s attention. He apologized quickly. Alana noted that it was getting late (almost 1 in the morning to be precise) and they should all turn in for the night. Everyone agreed and started getting ready to go.

 

* * *

  
A storm began to pick up as soon everyone prepared to leave. Evan’s anxiety came up with too many illogical outcomes.

  
**‘Connor, Zoe, and Alana drove over.. What if their cars turned over because of the wind? Or maybe they’ll crash because of the rain! And Jeremy and Michael walked here. They’ll get pneumonia and die. Oh my god my friends are gonna get killed.’**

  
Because of these thoughts Evan pleaded for his friends to stay over the night and he somehow convinced them to stay and camp out in his living room. Connor, Jared, and Michael helped move the furniture. Evan hoped his mom wouldn’t mind them staying over. Zoe and Alana somehow found blue nail polish and were now painting The Squip’s nails.

  
Once everything was set the gang said their goodnights and dozed off. Everyone besides Connor and Michael.

  
4 a.m. They tried to sleep, they really had, but they were unable to. So now they were sat up, staring at The Squip who was also awake.

  
Who decided that it would be a good idea to feed him one of those brownies, no one would know. When everyone woke up The Squip was clearly under the influence of those brownies still and Connor and Michael were well amused by it.


	12. Save The Pitiful Murphy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Father's Day isn't always an easy day for everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small chapter with some murphy angst by yours truly.   
> i dont exactly have the best relationship with my dad so this is kinda,, a vent work i guess.  
> enjoy

Things were slightly different with the human Squip around now. Jeremy was doing everything to keep him hidden from his father which was a lot more easier than he expected. 

“Your father is not the most intelligent being.” 

“Shut up or you’re sleeping outside.” 

Jeremy had made a makeshift home for Squip, just using a large dog bed they had stored in the basement and some pillows and blankets. Squip didn’t care too much. Jeremy also discovered that Squip seemed to enjoy drinking Mountain Dew very much and would start hissing like crazy if you got near him with Mountain Dew Red, Michael found this amusing. Jeremy had to keep Squip locked in his room when he went off to school and whenever he came back nearly half of his things were knocked over and misplaced. It was a long day.

 

* * *

It was father’s day today. Never an easy day for the Hansen family. Evan tried to push through the day normally. Wake up, get ready, write one of those letters, eat breakfast with mom, then go to school. Easy enough.

When Evan got to school and walked down the hall to his locker he stumbled upon the Murphy siblings who were arguing again, except this time Zoe was crying and Connor looked close to tears. 

“Why can’t you just be nice to him for one day?”

“Zoe, it’s not that easy for me-”

“Not that easy for you? Connor think about what it’s like for Mom to have to watch you fight with him on father’s day! It isn’t always about you!” 

“You don’t get to have a say in this!” 

Connor took a step towards Zoe when he snapped and she seemed to shrink in on herself. She looked scared. Connor must’ve noticed this because he lowered his volume.

“Zoe I’m-”

“Fuck you Connor.” 

With that Zoe ran off, wiping her tears away unsuccessfully. Connor stayed behind, clenching his fists. Evan was still standing where he was, shocked by what he just watched. 

“Goddammit!” Connor punched one of the lockers hard. He winced and held his fist, cursing and backing up into one side of the hallway. He was shaking with anger. 

**‘This is wrong. I shouldn’t be watching him. I should leave I’m gonna be late for class- oh he saw me. Oh I’m dead.’**

Connor did in fact see Evan and was staring at him with wide eyes. Evan stared back, his eyes just as wide. 

**‘Don’t just stand here go to him!’** Evan walked over to Connor. He looked like a mess. His hair was messy and in his face. His eyes were red and he had horrid dark circles under his eyes. His clothes were wrinkled and his knuckles.. Oh. They were bleeding. That probably wasn’t good.

“C-Connor.. Y-you’re bleeding.” Evan said nervously.

“You think I don’t fucking know that, Hansen? Do you think I’m some kind of fucking idiot, huh?!” Connor was angry. He snapped when he was angry. He didn’t think when he was angry.

Evan flinched at the volume of Connor’s voice. 

“N-no! I don’t think that.. That you’re idiot! Why would I-I think that?” Evan was panicking. 

Connor let out a sigh and stared down at his knuckles. He was quiet and his breathing was heavy.

“Did you see me yell at her?” 

“A-at who?

“At Zoe.”

“O-oh.. uh. Y-yeah, I did.” 

Connor laughed. His laugh sounded sad which scared Evan.

“Last time I yelled at her like that I was high. Like right now. And I was threatening to kill her from the other side of a bedroom door. Then my parents came home and my dad had to hold me down while my mom took Zoe outside to keep her safe… She was crying a lot..” Connor’s voice faltered. Evan simply watched him, not really knowing what to do. What are you supposed to say when someone casually tells you about the time they almost killed their younger sibling? 

“No wonder she hates me..” Connor added quietly. Evan knew that wasn’t true. 

“S-she doesn’t- hate y-you!” He blurted out. Connor looked at him and let out that sad laugh again. 

“Right.. We’re gonna be late for class.” Connor started to walk down the hall.

“Sh-she really doesn’t hate you, C-Connor!” Evan called out to him. Connor stopped for a moment before continuing to walk. He was walking faster this time. Evan sighed and went to class.

 

* * *

Third period rolled by. Connor wasn’t in class which worried Evan. Lunch rolled by and he wasn’t there either. Evan asked Jared if he had seen Connor around. Jared said he hadn’t. Zoe was quiet most of the day. She didn’t eat her lunch.

 

* * *

School got out and Evan walked home.

He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier. How scared Zoe looked, Connor punching that locker, Connor telling Evan about how he threatened to kill Zoe once.. It was a lot to take in in only a few hours. 

Evan just wanted to get home, do his homework, and hide in his room for the rest of day. No father’s day, no Murphy siblings, nothing. He wasn’t going to be able to prepare himself for anything else today. And he definitely wasn’t prepared to see Connor Murphy, the man himself, sitting on his front porch. 

“Hey.” Was all Connor said to a very confused Evan.

“C-Connor. W-Why are you at my house? Where were you all day? I was worried about you!” 

“You were worried about me?” 

Evan immediately grew red. He hadn’t meant to say that outloud. 

“Y-yes. I-I was. Why are you at my house? Not that I don’t mind because I-I don’t.. Mind.” 

Connor chuckled which only made Evan blush more. 

“I didn’t feel like going back home. I don’t think I’m wanted there anyways. Do you mind if I crash here for the night?” 

Oh great Connor was gonna spend the night that wouldn’t help Evan at all.

“Uh.. n-no. I don’t mind,” Connor smiled at that. “D-do you wanna come in?” Evan added. Connor nodded and they both went inside. 

This would be eventful.


	13. God Bless Heidi Hansen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor stays with Evan for a bit. Heidi Hansen is a blessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter. ive got some ideas.

Connor and Evan hung out on the couches in silence, both on their phones. Connor would occasionally show Evan a funny photo or video he found on Instagram, earning genuine giggles from the other boy every time. 

Evan got a text from his mom.

“M-My uh.. my mom’s gonna be home soon.” Evan informed Connor. Connor just nodded. 

“I can go if you want.. don't wanna intrude on your guy’s father’s day.” Connor said. Evan stiffened up. Connor noticed.

“What?” He asked.

“O-oh nothing it's just that uh.. w-we don't celebrate, uh, f-father’s day. My dad.. l-left when I was six.” Evan finished. He was fidgeting with the end of his shirt.

Conner let out a soft ‘oh.’ Evan nodded. 

“.. I'm sorry.” Connor said.

“I-It’s fine. I-I don't really care too much about it. My mom doesn't seem to care either so yeah, it's fine.” Evan shrugged, staring down at his hands. There was a silence that Connor didn't like, but what could he do? Then Evan started apologizing for making the situation awkward and Connor subconsciously cupped Evan’s face, immediately shutting the other boy up. 

“Quit apologizing, it’s fine.” Connor said. Evan nodded quickly, muttering out another apologizing to which Connor sighed. He removed his hands from Evan’s face and leaning back into the couch. They sat in silence again.

 

* * *

Heidi Hansen was a blessing honestly. She worked extra hours to support her son and even did whatever she could to help him grow out of his comfort zone.    
She was surprised honestly when Evan told her Connor Murphy was at their house. She decided not to ask and instead grabbed pizza on the way home. 

When she arrived back home she was met with the two boys sitting on the living room floor.

Evan was drawing on Connor’s arm, which had many other drawings on it. Evan himself also had many doodles on it. 

“Hey boys.” Heidi greeted.

Evan and Connor both looked up.

“Oh, hey Mom.”

“Hi Ms. Hansen.” 

The boys put away the marker they were using.

“I brought pizza. C’mon, let's have dinner.” 

They all sat at a small table in the dining room. Evan had to find an extra chair for Connor. They ate pizza. Heidi made small talk with Connor who was surprisingly good at talking with adults, Evan was impressed as always. 

Once they finished the pizza Heidi wished the boys goodnight and went upstairs to bed. The boys went back to drawing on each other.  

Heidi smiled once she reached her room. Connor was a nice kid and Evan seemed to like him. Heidi liked him as well. He was good for her son, maybe he could help him. Maybe. 


	14. Update

Hey guys sorry I haven't updated this thing in Forever   
I haven't been in the best spot lately and all motivation is just gone   
I'll try to update but, please be patient.  
Thank you all so much for the kind comments and kudos. I seriously appreciate it.  
\- vivi


	15. Update 2

Hey I'm probs Never gonna finish this bc I'm just not into bmc or deh as much I used to be??   
But uh, leave prompts and musicals in the comments and I'll Try (emphasis on try) to write stuff about it :0???  
Yeah  
\- Vivi

**Author's Note:**

> wooooo  
> constructive criticism is appreciated. I'll try to update weekly!


End file.
